When people find out that I am a 40 year old virgin, they usually can’t contain all of their questions that burst forth. One of the biggest ones I am asked is what my life is like without physical romance in it. I like to joke that you could ask the same question of a couple who have been married for over 20 years. A man virgin is something that most people just can’t comprehend.
I can easily joke about my decision to abstain from all things physical until I am married because I am 100% comfortable with my choice. While I attended a coupled of Christian churches throughout my life, their messages all remained the same- it is better to wait when it comes to making love. Religious abstinence is often a reason why a man or woman refrains from this activity.
Of course, it isn’t easy being a 40 year old virgin in today’s world. The jokes and jabs are endless when other guys find out I haven’t been to bed with anyone. Women are shocked to hear that I can actually keep my hands off of them. It sucks to be judged for something that doesn’t have anything to do with anyone else. And yes, there are days I feel very lonely, and sometimes I’ve caught myself wishing I had a “friend with benefits” to turn to.
When I was growing up I spent a lot of time being bullied. While I got used to the idea that I was already different, I still wanted things to change. When I was a freshman in high school, I knew it was time for a switch. I headed to a Christian school and became very active in our church. Staying busy coupled with my religious teachings made it easy to stay away from my carnal urges.
I ended up working various jobs after college, always staying as busy as possible. I have always been upfront about my choice to stay abstinent. Honestly, there are reasons why celibacy can actually be good for you, such as a decreased risk of catching an STD. While I do get a lot of questions and jokes about my decision, it hasn’t caused me to change my mind in any way. I’m doing what is best for myself and my life.
I do browse the more popular dating apps online, such as Tinder and Bumble. I’ve noticed that most of the users on these apps are looking to meet up for just a quick hookup, so I have never bothered to pursue any of the matches. I know that I am simply not ready to be in a relationship yet. I’m also confident that when the time comes, I will be ready to dedicate myself to one woman and one woman only. When that happens, then maybe the chastity belt will come off. While I’m waiting and looking, I am content knowing that I am living my life to the fullest. That is what matters the most. Being a man virgin may be difficult in today’s world, but it is simply who I am.
