4 People Share Their Experiences of Lovemaking With Anxiety
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For most people, lovemaking is a pleasant and relaxing experience to share with a partner. However, for some unfortunate people, anxiety can make the entire process miserable. Anxiety disorders affect many people, making them constantly worry that something horrible will happen, so it can be very hard for people with anxiety disorders to enjoy physical closeness. Some research has found that people who suffer from anxiety disorders tend to have higher rates of impotency and other physical issues because their mental problems can actually influence their body. These four real people who suffer from anxiety disorders provide astounding insight into what it feels like to have anxiety during lovemaking.
Fears of Pregnancy
26 year old Josie explained that her anxiety mostly revealed itself by making her obsessively worry about pregnancy. She did not want children, but normal contraceptive precautions were not enough to soothe her concerns. Every time she made love, she would end up thinking about how awful it would be to become pregnant and how dangerous pregnancy could be. This prevented Josie from focusing on the pleasure of herself or her partner, so she was unable to meaningfully connect. Even though Josie has never faced a potential pregnancy or had her contraception fail, she fears that “no matter how safe or careful I am about pregnancy prevention, something will go wrong and I’ll wind up pregnant because my body can’t be trusted.”
RELATED ARTICLE: 4 Ways You Can Still Get Pregnant On The Pill
Love Cannot Always Overcome Anxiety
Anxiety disorders happen when brain chemistry becomes imbalanced, and sadly, some people cannot overcome this even if they love their partners.
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25 year old Steven explained that his mind “was associating any foreign touch as something that could be a threat.” Though he intellectually knew that his girlfriend was a kind, loving person, he simply could not enjoy physical touches from her. Sadly, the stress of dating with an anxiety disorder took its toll on their relationship, and they ended up breaking up. Ultimately, Steven found that it was impossible to compartmentalize his anxiety and prevent it from affecting his dating.
Talking to Partners Is Hard
For some people, anxiety disorders prevent them from communicating with partners, which is absolutely essential to achieve enjoyment. A young woman named Elizabeth confessed that she “won’t make a peep about how to better please me until I’ve known someone for at least six months.” This fear of speaking up about a person’s desires can make it hard for them to interact during lovemaking, and Elizabeth found that she would end up in uncomfortable situations because she was scared to speak up for herself. However, Elizabeth’s story has a happy ending, since she eventually realized that she could feel more open while talking to her partner through email. This allowed her to communicate her needs to her partner in a stress-free setting.
Medication Changes How Things Feel
After 28 year old Theresa was diagnosed with a general anxiety disorder, she struggled to have enjoyable lovemaking experiences. Without medication, she was too worried about abuse or potential harm to have a relationship with most people, and she faced paralyzing attacks of anxiety. These issues went away with medication, but Theresa then found herself facing a different issue. Her body felt numb, so she had trouble finding satisfaction or relief during times of physical contact. At first, Theresa said that she “tried not to let it bum me out too much because I was really grateful for the relief from my anxiety.” However, after her moods stabilized and her body got used to the medications, she was eventually able to start feeling things again.
Treating anxiety disorders and lovemaking issues can be difficult and time consuming, but it is not impossible. Through therapy and stress management, people can learn how to find healthy ways to cope with anxiety. It may take a lot of time, but eventually, behavioral therapy and psychiatric help can encourage a person to work with their partner to find ways to enjoy intimacy. By being open with a partner and communicating before lovemaking, it may be possible for a person with anxiety to overcome their disorder and have a fulfilling and enjoyable love life.
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