Marriage is a much larger responsibility than many people realize. Once you are past the attention from the engagement, wedding, and honeymoon, there is a real life to be lived! In this life, you’re responsible for the feelings of another person, and that can be a huge weight. You may take your role as a wife very seriously, but you may be harming your partner in the process. Here are five ways you are actually hurting your husband and damaging your marriage.
Every family has a budget and spending on things that aren’t necessary can be really hurtful to your husband. Be wise about your finances and find a way to live within the boundaries of what your husband can realistically afford. This shows sincere respect and appreciation. This does not mean you can’t occasionally splurge on something you really want, it just means you need to have a meaningful conversation beforehand to make sure the two of you are on the same page.
Men need physical affection from their wives. Physical affection is one way to show appreciation for your husband. It is natural to want to withhold affection when angry or upset, but try instead to have a discussion with your husband about any issues instead of avoiding the physical piece of your relationship. It is a beautiful thing to be wanted and loved by your husband, so take advantage of the moments you can show your love through physical touch.
Keeping Record of Past Wrongs
It is human to stockpile past mistakes. It can be difficult to sweep past the ways your husband has hurt or betrayed you in the past, but forgiveness is a major part of a healthy marriage. You can’t continually taunt your husband about the past if you expect to be able to move forward. Next time you find yourself in an argument with your husband, don’t reach for a jab about the last time he didn’t come home on time. Instead, focus on the issue and work to resolve it without bringing up the past.
Being Negative Constantly
Negativity can be very draining. Men like to fix things, so if you launch into a conversation about everything that went wrong during the day then talking with you might begin to feel like a burden. He won’t be able to fix everything, so try to focus on the good things that happened during the day. This doesn’t mean you can’t even share some of your stresses, but avoid a one-sided conversation about these negative topics. A simple trick for avoiding constant negativity is to try and sandwich a negative story between two happy thoughts. This way the ratio is always tipping in favor of the positive. If you find yourself continuing to think in a negative way.
Never Saying Thank You
Verbal affirmation is extremely important in any relationship. Many people underestimate the value of a sincere “thank you”. Your man needs to hear “thank you” as much as anyone else. Gratitude is a form of affection and men like to hear when they are meeting your needs. According to psychology today expressing gratitude brings people closer together and practicing this in your marriage can have a really positive impact. Try expressing gratitude towards your partner at least three times a day for 21 days. You will find it becomes a habit and will transform how you feel about your partner.
These are just a few of the ways you may unknowingly be harming your partner and your marriage. If you find yourself guilty of any of these hurtful scenarios take a step in the opposite direction. Self-awareness is the first step towards altering current behavior. If you recognize these patterns and consciously try to adjust your behavior, you are on your way to establishing a healthy and happy environment for you, your husband, and your family.