3 Essential Components of a Secure Relationship

Everybody wants to be able to maintain a loving, secure relationship with their partner. However, not everybody knows how to go about it. Building a great relationship doesn’t have to involve an endless amount of work. A strong relationship really only requires a few crucial elements. Here are the 3 main ingredients for a secure relationship.

Essential Components of a Secure Relationship

1. Being Open with Your Partner

Openness is one of the most important traits in good relationships. Couples who hide things from each other are more likely to get into arguments. It’s important to relate your plans and your priorities with your partner.

Many men complain that their significant others expect them to “read their mind.” You can’t just assume that your partner will know how you’re feeling. When you keep emotions and even simple problems from your partner, these feelings grow. They can often morph from a silly annoyance to a major problem. If you or your partner are having difficulty expressing your emotions, this article from Psych Central is extremely helpful.

Many couples don’t know how to properly communicate their wishes to their partner. It’s a skill that takes time and hard work to develop, and we’ll look deeper into it below.

2. Positive Communication

One of the relationship tools recommended by Psychology Today is positive communication.

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Don’t take this to mean you always have to pretend that “everything’s okay.” Couples in healthy relationships are going to get into arguments. The question is: are you lifting each other up, or are you bringing each other down?

If something your partner does is bothering you, it’s important not to bring it up in an accusatory way. Always avoid “definitive language,” such as phrases that begin with “you never…” or “you always.” Those words are one of the easiest ways to build a barrier between you and your significant other. To build a secure relationship, it’s important to learn how to frame requests and even critiques in a positive way, for example, “You’re great at _____ and _____. I’d appreciate it if you could also do _____ today.”

It’s a small change in language that can mean a lot when it comes to developing a secure relationship.

3. Becoming More Engaged with Your Partner

There are more distractions these days than there have ever been before. Sometimes the world seems designed to pull our attraction away from things that really matter. But think about it this way: is your significant other more important to you than your smartphone? If they are, you have to prove it.

The way to prove it is to be engaged (not literally). Being “engaged” can simply mean being interested and present when you’re talking to your partner. It could mean setting aside a special “date night” for the two of you. It can even mean having dinner together with no smartphones or distractions allowed. When you pay that level of attention to your partner, you’re more attuned to their needs and you can sense problems from a mile away.

That way, even when you’re apart, you can know you’re close to your partner-nothing is going to bring you more security than that.

Moving Forward
There you have them: the 3 main ingredients for a secure relationship. It’s a pretty easy recipe, you don’t need to pre-heat an oven, you don’t need to sift or stir anything. You just need to be honest and open with your partner. You need to be truly present with them. And most importantly these days: you need to make enough time for each other. When you do all of these things, you can build a relationship strong enough to weather any storm.


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