One Thing You Should Do to Find the ONE!
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It has become increasingly hard for most people to believe in the existence of a soul mate, and find the one. However, not all hope is lost, and some of us still have faith. According to the Dalai Lama, universally known for championing love and compassion, it is impossible to love another person unless you love yourself first.
Today, self-love is among the newest buzzwords, steadily gaining traction when it comes to the world of self-development.
However, there are several questions we must ask ourselves:
• How can we define self-love?
• How can we love ourselves?
• Can self-love enable the attraction of our ideal lover, The One? How?
We must start by defining love to describe self-love adequately. We all experience love in various ways, and some of the most common ways include loving our parents, children, siblings, pets, or lovers. Think about what happens when you fall in love. You will find that although you feel intense emotions, you are also appreciating and accepting someone else.
Your new lover often does no wrong. You will ultimately accept your new partner at the very beginning, almost as if your warning signs are temporarily switched off. You appreciate your partner completely during this period, with thoughts on how caring, loving, and overly amazing there are. And as your acceptance and appreciation grow, so does your love. In a similar manner, we can describe self-love as self-acceptance and self-appreciation.
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Once you fully accept and appreciate yourself, you stop feeling either shame or guilt since you understand yourself better. You can consequently take responsibility for your actions as opposed to blaming others. The thing is that for a long time now, you most likely have not been practicing self-love. Every time you judge yourself harshly or speak to yourself in a negative manner, you are attacking yourself. And you can only continue with this trend because you made it a pattern, having practiced negative self-criticism and talk for years.
Fortunately, the solution is that you simply start practicing self-love on a daily basis through mirror exercises, meditation, heart-opening exercises, or guided visualizations. Being an action, self-love must be practiced daily, same as the non-self-loving behavior you were practicing. Your old patterns dissipate as you consistently feed yourself self-love, rising to the surface so that you can work them through. The difference being that you are working them out from self-loving discernment as opposed to judgment. Looking at your challenging behaviors is a lot easier after replacing judgment with discernment.
How does self-love enable the attraction of The One?
We get into relationships to help us experience love and avoid loneliness, especially when lacking sufficient amounts of self-love. However, all the loneliness shows back up at the end of the honeymoon phase. Your partner becomes a reflection of your insecurities and challenging behaviors. This reflection magnifies if avoided, and projecting this behavior onto your partner makes you more irritated with them.
Your insecurities will be in control, leading you to question both your actions and worthiness. You will constantly wonder whether you just did the wrong thing, whether you are good enough, and whether you partner will like you more due to a particular act. These questions will be completely unconscious most of the time, showing up only in your behavior.
READ ALSO: Why His Sincere Behavior Can Damage Your Union
So, how can you possibly be yourself in a relationship if you keep bombarding yourself with questions due to your insecurities and need to please others? It is a fact that you will bring into your life someone matching your exact feelings about yourself. If you feel unworthy and lack sufficient self-loving in your !nt!mate relationship, you tend to attract someone who will mirror this back. That person is not the right one, not your soul mate.
Once you love, accept, and appreciate yourself for who you are, you will attract someone who reflects this back. Showing up to your relationship with self-love means you no longer depend on that relationship to provide love. You will have already given love to yourself, which means it all begins with self-love. An excellent first step to find the one, your soul mate, is spending some time looking in the mirror on a daily basis. Appreciate yourself for who you are and remind yourself that you love yourself. Practice self-love daily in order to find the one.
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