Should Your Kids Know You’ve Had an Affair?
However, there is a world of difference between using children as a tool for leverage during a divorce and being open and honest with them. If you’re a wife who’s been cheated on by her husband, you might find it hard to avoid painting your ex in a neutral or positive light for your children. You may even be tempted to use your children as a way of gaining an upper hand in the argument.
The question of whether or not children should be informed of their parents activities is one that has no simple answer. Most parents will agree that you should never lie to your children, but what do you do when they ask questions you can not answer without revealing too much or something too negative? The end goal of any conversation with your children regarding your relationship with your spouse should focus on a single idea, and that idea is that whatever you say to them should be strictly for their benefit.
It may be difficult to make yourself act a certain way that goes against your feelings, but you must consider the psychology health of your children. If the fault can be attributed to one spouse during a divorce, which is often the case with an affair, you might be tempted to reveal the truth to your children simply to spite your ex-spouse. This would be a perfect example of a situation in which the parents should avoid telling their children anything, because hearing nothing is better than hearing something negative.
Divorce and infidelity are unfortunate parts of life, but they can not be ignored simply because they are uncomfortable. You’ll almost certainly have to be honest with your children about the situation at some point, even if you wait until they are old enough to properly understand. In the mean time, you should only reveal to them what they need to know to believe that both of their parents will continue to love them, even if they had an affair.