[nextpage title=”…”]
Bringing affectionate feelings back, especially after an extended break, has proven an uphill task for most couples. Many couples experience prolonged periods without physical contact. It might be due to time apart as a result of different work schedules, health concerns such as a difficult pregnancy, or general marital discord. Here are 5 things to do to get laid after a long break.
Regardless of the cause, it is not always easy to pick up from where you left off once you resolve the issue. Most couples will often nervously joke about or not discuss it all the same. In fact, your initial physical contact might feel rather awkward because talking about this area of your marriage was difficult.
Acknowledge the awkwardness
You need to have a candid conversation about the situation, which can only happen after you acknowledge the awkwardness.
• Talk about the experience of being without physical contact, the enjoyable aspects and why you would like it back.
• Discuss your feelings of apprehension such as issues related to your body image, possible pain, or fear of repeating the negative patterns.
• Maintain a positive conversation, remembering your aim is to move forward.
• Keep it short and stick to the topic. A single conversation does not have to cover everything.
• Listen and encourage sharing of experiences and feelings.
Schedule your time
The initiation of physical affections can prove difficult, especially with a history of rejection or lack of clarity on the readiness of your partner. The anxiety can often be so high that you would rather not experience the pain of rejection again. Scheduling a time to be affectionate eliminates initiation since you both begin to prepare emotionally and mentally early enough. You might increase your flirting, take a shower, or clear your schedules, which heightens the anticipation. The chances of success improve once you set aside a specific time.
RELATED ARTICLE: What the Frequency of Lovemaking Says About Your Relationship
[/nextpage]
[nextpage title=”…”]
Move slowly
Take the time to ensure you both feel as confident as possible regardless of how anxious you are to get laid. Remember your dating days and all the positive experiences you had, bringing them back to your current situation. You may have enjoyed a perfect foot rub, held hands while lovingly gazing into each other’s eyes, or you made time for kisses and cuddles.
With a scheduled time, you should be in no rush. Allow yourselves the necessary space to feel comfortable. Make a real connection by stopping to talk about any concerns, whether mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual. In this way, creating a mutually satisfying and long-lasting relationship has higher chances compared to getting right to physical affections.
Create an ideal atmosphere
The most basic level of getting down is sensory, which involves sight, touch, smell, sound, and taste. Remind yourselves of the good times together using the most favored sensory memories, be it the smell or sight of a particular flower. It could also be some music you both like, particularly since research shows music has power over our moods. Use all these to create a romantic atmosphere. Most married couples get lazy, forgetting how important some simple things can be in ensuring they experience a great time.
Remember getting on is not the sole form of physical affection
Most of the couples who have experienced extended periods without romance often experience the lack of affection as a result. It is important to acknowledge such an occurrence and try to improve. Some people complain about the misinterpretation of their actions or intents such as a touch after a long break. Human beings enjoy contact, be it holding hands, a welcome hug, or cuddling. If you are only affectionate in the bedroom, the chances of maintaining a mutually satisfying and prolonged physical relationship reduce. Find ways of engaging with each other outside your bedroom, which will lead to better satisfaction.
Summary
Most couples just want to know whether or not they are normal. Regrettably, you will most likely have very few times where you are totally in sync as a couple. Working together to find compromises and solutions is the norm in a marriage. And it significantly contributes towards finding what works best for your relationship. Working as a team on the difficulties you face serves to strengthen your relationship. As a result of working together, you can look back and not panic the next time you experience any difficulties, having already learned how to deal with such challenges.
[/nextpage]
