The Silent Killer Of Relationships You Wouldn’t Think About
How to Escape the Trap of Expectation
Since expectations can have such a damaging effect, the solution may be to stop having so many of them. It is not unrealistic to expect to be treated with respect, but thinking that a partner cannot be upset or make mistakes is damaging.
RELATED ARTICLE: Stop THIS Before It Ruins Your Relationship! Says New Study
Eli J. Finkel, professor of psychology at Northwestern University, suggests having common goals and spending more time together. A potential solution is to acknowledge your sadness if your expectations were not met, but to accept your partner compassionately for who they are.
Another technique is to imagine yourself speaking to a friend who has the same expectations as you. C. Snow, a clinical psychologist, notes that her patients often see a situation more reasonably if they imagine it from another angle.
Flexibility is a great way to solve relationship difficulties. If you have an expectation that the laundry must be done on a certain day, then you may become angry when it isn’t. This anger and frustration does not finish the chore. Likewise, your partner may feel resentful or hurt that he or she cannot met your expectations. Ask yourself if your expectation is reasonable, and try to find ways to be flexible to keep the relationship healthy.