A Personality Trait of Your Partner that Affects Your Romantic Life
Meeting a man who strives for perfection sounds like the dream, but a new study by the University of Kent revealed that women whose partners are all about being the best may be more likely to suffer from dysfunction under the sheets. In the study, 366 women under the age of 30 took surveys that they believed investigated whether or not their expectations and beliefs about being intimate could impact their physical encounters and romantic life.
The researchers behind the experiment took the results and broke them down into four categories: self-oriented (the standards that the women placed on themselves), partner-oriented (standards that your partner places on themselves), partner-prescribed (standards they felt their partners placed on them), and socially prescribed (standards that they felt were put on them by society). The results revealed that women who rated their partner-prescribed standards as perfectionistic were more likely to suffer from dysfunction in the bedroom and have an overall lower quality of satisfaction with their partner.
That was only the beginning. Women who felt that their partners were striving for perfectionism together were also found to have less self-esteem and more anxiety relating to romantic activities. This means that a partner who strives to be perfect in their relationship isn’t making it so, but instead casting unrealistic expectations onto their significant other that leaves them feeling insecure and inadequate.
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What It Means
Those of us who don’t suffer from this problem may think it can simply be shrugged off, but the truth is almost everyone has experienced a feeling of anxiety in relation to pleasing their partner at some point in time. The more we care about someone, the happier we want them to be. When we’re in a committed relationship, the desire to please them transfers to all aspects of the relationship, including physical pleasure.
Women who feel as if their partners aren’t able to be pleased in the bedroom won’t rationalize that they are worthy in many other regards. Although they may be emotionally close, their bond seems to disintegrate when their clothes come off and all they can think about is upholding their partner’s ideals.
Feeling this way takes away from the entire reason behind getting physical in a relationship and over time can evolve into deeper self-esteem and emotional issues. Although our self-worth should never be grounded in our physicality, it’s an undeniable fact that our partner’s views have a powerful impact on our own self-image.