6 Things To Consider Before Complete Break Up With Your Partner
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Are you considering breaking up with your partner? Many things can cause you to think about calling it over; but, before you throw in the towel, consider these 6 things that might make you change your mind.
1. Your partner may change
Although we shouldn’t expect people to change, in some cases people may be willing to get rid of a habit if we only ask. If there is something about your partner that is bothering you, chances are he or she may be willing to change if you are brave enough to approach him/her about it.
2. You may change
People do grow and mature throughout their entire lives. Before approaching your partner, first consider your own heart. Is there something about your attitude that you need to change? Perhaps your fears of closeness are keeping you from enjoying your relationship, or there may be something about your past that you are hanging onto. Dr. Lisa Firestone notes that “we often seek to recreate negative dynamics from our history. We may even provoke our partners to treat us as we were treated in our early life.” Examine your past and see if there’s anything keeping you from a successful future.
3. This may be a stage
Of the five stages in a relationship, number three is “disillusionment.” If you push through the third stage, then “Disillusionment is not the beginning of the end, but the beginning of a relationship that can be more satisfying than anything we’ve ever known.” Don’t let one small stage keep you from moving onto the next stage which is developing a loving, lasting relationship built on loyalty and trust.
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4. Reflect on the good memories
When you are in the heat of a battle with your partner, it is often difficult to remember what brought you together in the first place. However, when you start to think about all of the good times you have had together, you can forget why you were fighting in the first place. Even if the situation with your partner seems insurmountable, you can choose to remember all of the good memories. Chances are, the good times outweigh the bad. And, you can probably see more good times if you look ahead and see past your current situation.
5. Try scheduling a date night
When couples find themselves in a relationship rut, sometimes making an extra effort to spend quality time together is all that is needed to enhance the communication connection. Dr. Firestone labels this a “Fantasy Bond” which is when couples replace sincerity with routine. Breaking that routine by going on a creative date night will not only spark your creativity but will also benefit the relationship. Think about your partner’s passions in life and try to build a special date around that passion.
6. This decision to break up is likely permanent
Although it is possible that you may take a break for awhile before eventually getting back together, the break up is most likely permanent. Chances are your partner will move on and search for companionship elsewhere before you decide that you do indeed want to get back together. By the time you decide you do love your partner, it may be too late.
Take a set amount of time to consider these things before you call the relationship off. Think about getting some emotional support and advice from a well-trusted friend, or consider the possibility of counseling if your partner is willing. Ultimately, this decision will impact your entire future so it is one not to make hastily.
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