Lessons You Should Learn From Halle Berry’s Divorce To Make Your Marriage Work
After just two years of marriage, film star for the third in her life. She and her current husband Olivier Martinez have an infant son together. Also has an elementary school aged daughter from a previous relationship. They say they still love each other and the divorce is supposedly amicable, in spite of some sources describing the marriage as having always like a roller coaster ride.
Remember these 3 Lessons Learned From Halle Berry’s Divorce:
1. Geography matters. Where you live can be a deal breaker
Because of her acting career, Halle makes her home in Los , California. Her husband Olivier was born and raised in France. He was never entirely comfortable in L.A. Given their claim that they love each other and the divorce is amicable, something had to be a deal breaker. Perhaps this was one of the deal breakers. Making a marriage work is hard enough in this day and age, you do not need to add stress of this sort to it. There is more to life than your home life. If you aren’t both happy to be in the same place, you may not be able to work it out.
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Historically, men typically moved to follow their job and women typically moved to follow their man. This tended to enhance male careers and undermine female careers. With more women wanting to have a real career and more couples trying to juggle the demands of two careers, where you live is becoming a point of contention for some couples. Trying to find a geographic location with adequate career opportunities for both spouses can be challenging. When push comes to shove, some people will choose their career over a stressful marriage.
2. The pursuit of ‘having it all’ can actually leave you with less
There are only 24 hours in the day. No matter how you slice it and dice it, that’s all you get. A serious career takes a minimum of 40 hours per week. An close relationship, whether to a friend, child or spouse, takes at least 15 hours per week. Trying to fit something else into an already busy life can cost you some of the things you already have. One study found that, on average, Falling in love costs you two friends.
3. Living separately leads to separation
Because it takes 15 to 20 hours per week of close contact to both build and maintain a strong relationship, moving out can be the beginning of the end. Even if you continue to live in the same city, it can be challenging to find an average of more than two hours of time per day to spend together if you are no longer living together under one roof. This is especially true if you both have demanding jobs and/or there are children as part of the scene.
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With busy lives, preparing and eating breakfast and dinner together can be a critical anchor for the relationship, providing snippets of important information about each other’s lives as well as precious time in which to make small talk. Small talk is an important part of keeping up with what is going on in each other’s lives. You cannot have the big heart to heart conversations without laying that foundation.
There is no such thing as quality time without devoting a minimum necessary quantity of time to a relationship. If you really want your marriage to work out, you need to make sure to set time aside for it, even if you both have demanding careers.
