7 Signs He’s Using You For Friendly Relation, Avoid This Relationship Trap
You’re out for the night and meet the perfect guy. Not only is he adorable, he’s got the whole rest of the package, including a hilarious sense of humor, interesting conversation, and a great sense of style. You feel instant chemistry with him and know he feels the same way. You’re falling hard for this guy and know where you want the relationship to go, but you’re starting to have doubts that he’s on the same page. Maybe he only wants the physical relationship you share together. Ouch. This is one of the most hurtful relationship scenarios that women can find themselves in. The following is a list of ways you can tell if a guy is only using you for the horizontal tango:
1. He’s not affectionate or loving unless he wants something, i.e. you. He doesn’t call you his girlfriend or any other term of endearment. He doesn’t spend time on gentle physical actions, such as holding hands or snuggling. The only time he acts more affectionate is when he is convincing you to do what he wants.
2. He’s not interested in getting to know you. He never asks how your day is, wonders about what you like and dislike, or cares about what makes you who you are. This is a clear sign that he’s not interested in a deeper, more !ntimate relationship beyond the physical aspects.
3. He never takes you on actual dates. You realize that you only hang out at his apartment or yours. He never spends money on you, takes you to dinner, or suggests any interesting events. When you get tired of staying in, he always has some excuse for not doing anything in public. You wonder if he’s embarrassed by you or doesn’t think you’re worth the time and money.
4. He never lets you meet his friends or family and avoids meetings yours. Friends and family are often a great sounding board for the health and quality of a relationship. Meeting your significant others’ friends can say a lot about who he is and what he cares about. It can be normal not to meet everyone right at the beginning, but it’s not a great sign if he keeps putting off these introductions once you’ve been together for a while.
5. His words don’t match his actions. He’s always promising that your relationship will change or that you’ll meet his mom or that you’ll do go out to dinner soon. He just never has the time to follow through. He tells you that he’ll see you more often when he’s done with this work project, but there’s always a new one that takes up all his time. You start to disbelieve most of what he says about the future because nothing he says comes true.
6. He only makes plans with you late at night. You never see him during the day; it’s almost as if he is a vampire! Your time together often begins with a late night call or text from him. You never stay the night or if you do, you don’t have breakfast with him in the morning. Your relationship literally only exists in the dark of night. Somehow he’s always busy in the daylight. Now that you think about it, you’ve never seen him eat anything. Maybe there is something to the vampire theory!
7. He’s inconsistent. Sometimes he’ll say he’s too busy to make plans with you, but then he’ll send you a text to hook up late at night. Or he’ll cancel plans last minute, saying that “something came up” in a vague and mysterious way. You can’t count on him to show up when he says he will, but you might hear from him when you least expect it.
Hopefully, these signs can help keep you from falling into this devastating trap. One of the things by itself can occasionally be harmless, but make sure to look at the overall pattern. It can be difficult not to fall for a guy’s charm, but armed with your new awareness, you’ll be able to notice the telltale signs of a guy who wants to have you, but not as his girlfriend.
