10 Qualities to Look for In the Person You are Planning to Marry!

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10 Qualities to Look for In the Person You are Planning to Marry!

Have you met someone who’s irresistibly charming? Do you feel they may be “the one”? For a loving bond to endure, partners need to have certain traits. Here’s how to know if your heartthrob has what it takes.

1. COMMON INTERESTS

The foundation of a happy union is friendship. Are there several activities you enjoy together? Having common hobbies fosters the sense of being a team. They’re a point of contact and connection. Shared interests deepens the connection.

Here are some questions you might ask to identify common pastimes and passions:

• What were your favorite hobbies as a child?
• Are there any you still enjoy?
• Do you prefer activities that pose a mental or physical challenge?
• What pastime would you pursue if money and time weren’t factors?
• Are there activities that definitely aren’t your cup of tea?

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Below are hobbies you might dabble in to find what is mutually satisfying:

• bicycling
• board games
• camping
• concerts
• cooking
• gardening
• hiking
• horseback riding
• puzzles
• star gazing

2. SENSE OF HUMOR

Funny moments maintain the levity in a relationship. A sense of humor makes challenges easier. Do you have good belly laughs together?

The ability to laugh at oneself reflects an optimistic personality. It’s also a sign of resilience. A 2011 study in the journal Emotion showed that people who chuckle at themselves have sunny dispositions.

Laughing at yourself also reveals a capacity to forgive. When you can overlook your shortcomings, forgiving others comes naturally.

Giggling is good for the health of your relationship as well as personal well-being. Laughing lowers blood pressure.

3. ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE

Conveying concerns and listening are vital in a relationship. Communication is the basis of supporting each other, making decisions, and achieving goals. Your beloved must be approachable and emotionally available. Do you feel free to discuss what’s important to you? Hot topics you’ll want to broach are:

• money – spending habits, budgeting, investing, and planning for the future

• health – medical history

• children – whether you want to have kids and specifics of raising them

• religion – whether spirituality is significant to your sweetie

You’ll also want a partner who offers praise. This is the honey that sweetens a relationship.

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4. DEPENDABILITY

Being punctual and timely are important qualities to have. If your valentine has these, they’re a sign of dependability. Knowing you can count on your beloved will spare you stress. A person who keeps their word is a keeper. Other telltale signs are someone who:

• fulfills promises
• doesn’t procrastinate
• keeps commitments

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5. WILLINGNESS TO COMPROMISE

Though it’s important to have common interests, you won’t always see eye-to-eye. There are bound to be disagreements. At these times, flexibility will keep the peace. Butting heads in stubbornness leads to exasperation.

Here’s a simple definition of compromise. It’s finding the best solution for both of you.

Evaluating Your Own Flexibility

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You also need to assess your own elasticity. Are you able to gracefully bend? Can you yield to your sweetheart’s opinion? If it’s hard to answer “Yes,” here are considerations that can help:

• Not getting your way doesn’t mean you’re defeated. It shows you’re willing to acknowledge other possibilities.

• A spirit of compromise doesn’t involve winning or losing. It focuses on what will make you both happy.

• Being open-minded feels good! It diffuses the stress of a sticky situation. Take a deep breath during tense moments to gain a sense of expansion. It will widen your perspective.

• Put yourself in your partner’s shoes. This mental shift can make all the difference.

• Small variations in opinion aren’t worth debating. Pettiness will sap the strength of your relationship. Do you war over which TV show to watch? Save deliberations for issues that truly matter. Concerns about career, kids, and health merit negotiation.

• Compromise creates balance in a relationship. It conveys respect and appreciation for your mate’s point of view. Once you’re fluent in considering your partner’s ideas, compromise will come easily to you.

6. COMPASSION

Compassion is the desire to ease suffering. The ability to feel someone’s pain spurs you to help them. If your mate is compassionate, they’ll take care of you when you’re sick. They’ll cut you some slack when your mind is off-track. Your partner will earnestly try to make life easier for you. Compassion is clothed as:

• comforting words
• encouragement
• hugs
• a shoulder to cry on
• a gentle touch

Kindness is the cornerstone of a loving relationship. Compassion creates a safe place in your relationship where you can relax.

Cultivating Compassion

Here’s an exercise for developing compassion. When your lovebird is upset, look deeply into their eyes. Try to sense your sweetie’s emotions. Then ask what they’re feeling. Now think of what you can do to help them feel better.

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Kindness Toward Others

Note how your suitor treats other people. Are they courteous with clerks? Do they leave generous tips for wait staff? How do they relate to their parents? Look for traces of compassion in your honey’s actions. A person who’s considerate of others will likely be kind to you as well.

7. GENEROSITY

A generous spirit is evident in many ways. It isn’t limited to money. A mate with a magnanimous heart will love you unconditionally. You won’t have to act or be a certain way to receive their affection.

Does your dearest keep your relationship a priority? A selfless person will put your needs ahead of theirs. They’ll give without expecting anything in return.

They also won’t compete with you. They’ll freely share what they have from a place of security.

Generosity is demonstrated by:

• attentiveness
• forgiveness
• cheerfulness
• compliments
• sacrificing time
• romantic gestures
• hospitality

A 2011 National Marriage Project showed that lavishness between lovers is a key element of a happy relationship. Partners reporting a high degree of giving were five times more likely to say they were fulfilled. The study also found that generosity increased physical connection. The survey canvassed over 1,400 couples between the ages of 18 and 46. That’s quite a testimony to generosity, don’t you think?

8. HONESTY

Mutual trust is fundamental to the health of a relationship. Without it, love surely dies. Openness establishes a secure foundation. A relationship rooted in honesty is girded in strength. It bears the stamp of longevity.

9. COURTESY

Ladies love chivalry. Even independent women favor gallant gestures. Men likewise value thoughtful manners. Courtesy shows respect in a caring way. Prefacing a request with “please” invites a willingness to respond. Following a deed with “thank you” makes a mate feel appreciated. Other examples of politeness are:

• not interrupting
• giving options
• providing a sheltering umbrella
• holding doors open
• offering a chair
• letting your lover have the last bite of food

10. AMBITION

Having a goal-oriented partner infuses a relationship with vibrant energy. Working toward mutual objectives trains you in problem-solving. Obstacles to success are likely to arise. Surmounting them strengthens your bond. The process fosters a sense of camaraderie.

Examples of important goals to share and pursue together are those relating to:

• health
• career
• family
• raising children

Long-term thinking paves the way to a bright future. Achieving aspirations promotes self-esteem. You’ll reap greater joy by realizing your dreams.

KEY QUALITIES OF A KEEPER

No potential partner will be perfect. So don’t set your standards too high. Desirable traits in a prospective mate are:

1. Common interests
2. Sense of humor
3. Ability to communicate
4. Dependability
5. Willingness to compromise
6. Compassion
7. Generosity
8. Honesty
9. Courtesy
10. Ambition

May you meet your dreamboat and sail the high seas of happiness!