10 Ways to Tell If You Expect Too Much From Your Partner
Expectations are deeply rooted into our psyche. We place them on ourselves and we place them on others whether we intend to or not. This is especially true in relationships. Part of it comes from simply wanting the best for our partners and wishing them success, but to a certain extent some of it can come from projecting our own personal needs onto someone else.
While there are many types of partnerships, marriage is one of the most commonly recognized forms. Eli Finkel, a researcher at Northwestern, specializes in dating and relationship advice and in his newest study, he sheds some interesting light on the psychology of Americans when it comes to marriage. Finkel notes, “Americans today are increasingly – and perhaps unrealistically – asking their marriages to fulfill higher-level psychological needs, such as those related to personal growth and self-realization.”
Knowing if your expectations for your loved one are impractical is sometimes hard to keep up with in today’s fast paced society. To that end, here is a list of ten things to consider determining if you expect too much from your partner:
• You feel as though your partner is not good enough for you.
• You are completely obsessed with your partner’s faults.
• You feel as though they should understand you without you having to explain yourself.
• You feel like you deserve more out of your relationship.
• You feel like giving up on the relationship when you become frustrated.
• You feel as though you can’t let up on your expectations of your partner.
• You feel as though your partner is lucky to be with you.
• You feel a deep distrust of your partner if they ever hurt you.
• You feel as though your partner does not give you the attention you deserve.
• You often wonder whether you deserve your partner.
If you notice, each of the considerations listed about begin with YOU. The reason for that is because expectations are created on an individual level. They are not initially formed through a partnership. To reach that level in a relationship, it is important to remember that communication is a necessity. No one else is responsible for your personal expectations until they agree to take ownership of them with you.