Is Your Partner Financially Cheating on You?
When most people think about infidelity or cheating on a significant other, they think about the $e*[email protected] kind: a romantic tryst behind a partner’s back. However, another kind of infidelity can cause the same hurt, anger, and mistrust: financial infidelity. Financial cheating can range from minor instances, such as lying about how much a scarf cost, to major transgressions, such as secretly emptying a bank account to pay for a gambling addiction. In these situations, the amount of money lied about is merely one of the many issues that make financial infidelity so egregious.
Investment in the Relationship
If you are in a serious relationship, you expect to share not just today’s happiness but also tomorrow’s trials and triumphs with your significant other. However, if your partner is lying about spending, you might feel that he or she has other priorities or is not invested in the relationship. In these situations, your partner might not realize how you are interpreting his or her dishonesty. Having a conversation with your partner about what you both expect in terms of spending and honesty could lead to understanding and mutual investment.
A Simple Matter of Trust
Your partner may have reasons for being dishonest about how much he or she spends, such as embarrassment about an addiction, resistance to being financially controlled, or a need to preserve privacy. Nevertheless, you may feel that your partner doesn’t trust you or is untrustworthy. Both feelings can undermine the future of the relationship. It may be beneficial to establish allowances and ground rules where you respect your partner’s needs and your partner respects yours.
The Bottom Line
One of the most harmful aspects of infidelity, dishonesty, and secrecy is that it causes people to have doubts about their partner, to fill in gaps of understanding with worst-case scenarios. This is especially true in regards to money. Instead of assuming the worst or expecting all problems to disappear over time, talk with your partner. Make an effort to communicate how you feel in a non-confrontational way. Your honesty and understanding may inspire the same from your partner.