How to Get Past the Anger and Forgive
When someone says, ‘forget the past and forgive them,” often the first thing that comes to mind is that it’s easier said than done. We all are human, most of us get hurt by actions and words of other people. When we feel insulted or hurt we may keep things inside and hold grudges. Holding on to grudges does not let us forget what happened in the past and we kind of get stuck in those situations forever. Anger is not good for anyone, we do most of the harm to ourselves when we are angry. However there are some simple techniques that can help you forget the past and let the pain go.
Here are some tips from Positive Med consolidating some of these techniques just for you:
1. Understand forgiveness
Many people perceive forgiveness as a characteristic of the weak, it is not. Forgiveness does not mean surrendering yourself or being a doormat. It is the act of forgetting what happened and letting it go for the benefit of everyone. It’s getting rid of the anger and frustration that keeps eating at you and is an act of courage. Understanding the definition of forgiveness is critical if you want to practice it.
2. Do not wait for an apology
Apology for some is a simple ‘I’m sorry,’ while others just don’t want to hear it. We feel better when someone apologizes to us, however we forget we are giving someone else control of our own happiness.You need to forgive others for your own benefit, though it benefits others as well. Sometimes the actions of others are not even meant for us and we take them personally.
3. Put yourself in their shoes
Whenever you feel angry or hurt try to understand why the other person acted this way. Usually the actions of others reflect their own state of mind. When someone behaves in an offensive way, it shows their immaturity and inability to control their emotions. When you forgive someone, you initiate change. Studies have shown that people become less selfish when they are forgiven by another.
4. Look for the bright side
It is human tendency to remember the bad things others do to us and forget the good things more easily. Whenever you are hurt by someone’s behavior, remember the good times you shared with them and look at the brighter side of your relationship, it will make it easier for you to forgive and forget.
There are many benefits to forgiving and moving on. When you forgive you have healthier relationships that last longer. Forgiveness leads to overall personal development and keeps you healthier.
Communication plays an important role in forgiveness. The best way to forgive and let go of a grudge is to talk to the person who hurt you and express your feelings. If you cannot talk to the offender directly, talk to someone you trust and share your heart out. Doing this makes you feel more relaxed and in control of the situation. Talking will also make you listen to the offender and may take you to the reason behind their offensive behavior.
Another technique whenever you feel hurt or angry find 2 people in need of help and try to help them, ask them not to thank you but instead to pay it forward. This will make a chain.
Practicing forgiveness is not something you can learn overnight, it will take some time, as they say, “the journey of a million miles must begin with a single step.”