4 Ways to Build and Preserve Better Boundaries
We all have rights, one of them is freedom, the power of choosing what we want and the standards we use for living it. I want to extend an invitation to all of you to stand up and with love say, “No more.”
Saying no can generate awkward or uncomfortable feelings toward others, this is normal. Some of us haven’t used this tiny word for a long time, our emotions and body need to be in tune. Being humble is the only way of accepting we need to learn thousands of emotional and life-related hints. When we are capable of saying no we strengthen our will and realize we have the power to change our reality, opening and closing opportunities.
• Simply say no. Its as simple as saying no toward any petition we don’t like. You can do it by saying no, or saying no through phrases like, “This doesn’t work for me.” Use appropriate of assertive behavior. If possible you can justify the reasons why you are saying no, it depends in the occasion. Look the person in the eyes with a calm and easy attitude, its unnecessary to associate saying no with frustration or anger, express your feelings according to context firmly, always with the same meaning, the denial of something you don’t want to do or participate in.
• Express what you think. Use the last point, if possible, saying the beliefs and feelings that made you say no. Make your intentions clear.
• Sometimes we choose without being aware of our reasons. If a person asks us for a favor we can say yes automatically just to please them or we can take a moment to analyze what the person is asking and what the opportunities are. There is nothing wrong with denying a favor, or an invitation, this is a sign of maturation, that you are making yourself a priority.
• You can repeat a short argument and NO, remaining calm at all times. This cannot be used for long periods of time and can be annoying. If you are confronted and you don’t want to argue or you think its not the best thing to do, ignore the provocations to argument. Sometimes silence is the best argument.
Saying no is not selfish or ignoring the needs of your friend and relatives, its about finding balance between two extremes, always saying yes or always saying no. The rights of others are as important as your own, try to be assertive and determine the right time to stand up for yourself without hurting others.