Well, I am 45 today. It feels weird. My son, for 7 or 8 years, thought I was 32. It was only when he hit 20 that he said to himself “whoa mom must be more than 32!” he was telling that story to his wife as we made plans for my party this weekend, I said “and you were right every year baby boy,” with a kiss. When I bought my bottle of birthday wine I was carded, not to be nice, because she has to type in the exact birth-date, she looked at me and was confused, being me I said ‘yes I’m 35 tomorrow,’ which made her laugh, I then said I should start saying I’m 55, because for 55 I look amazing. She replied ‘Honestly you look good for 35!’ Good answer. Or is it?
When did I start caring about the state of my face? I care about my health, although it is very frustrating. After an on-the-job accident I am no longer able to dress myself, paint my toes, am in constant pain, and to add insult to injury they originally treated me with steroids, causing me to gain a significant amount of weight.
I have mostly concentrated on the state of my heart and my mind to be honest. I spend time daily with God’s word, in prayer, and in meditation, whenever possible I do this outside as that helps me to connect. 45 is one of those years that really makes you take stock of yourself and your life, I was so astounded by it happening I started this blog over a week ago and am just now finishing it.
There are many things I thought I would accomplish by now that I haven’t. I thought I would have traveled more, owned a house, written a book, and fallen in love. There is a lot that I have done, however, I have raised 2 kids who are smart, funny, generous of heart, and kind to friends and strangers, I graduated from nursing school and spent many years living the dream of being a nurse and a mom. I have been the mom who had all the kids at her house, the aunt with nieces and nephews sleeping over, I have sang with a band or 2, written countless stories and blogs, shared an article or 2, inspired promising young women to become nurses, wiped countless tears, shared 1000’s of smiles and laughter, camped outside in the mountains, caught fish, raised and canned vegetables, climbed trees, swam in lakes and the ocean, I have seen beautiful sunsets and sunrises in many states, and have been blessed by many friends along the way. I have worked in a shelter for battered women and been an advocate for women and children, I have worked with disabled children. I have played pool on a team and been good at it, I have bowled on a team, badly, I have danced behind the bar with a man I am still fond of, I have been serenaded with my favorite song by a man with a voice like velvet. I have learned to crochet, play cards, embroider, use the internet, text on my phone, and have driven cars, trucks, snowmobiles, motorcycles, and even a semi once.
All in all it’s a good start. I still want to travel, but then again I still want to work as a nurse and that just isn’t possible. Maybe someday the opportunity to travel will come my way, maybe romantic love will too. It’s never too late right? In the meantime, we must cut our coat to fit the cloth, as my grammy used to say. I am thrilled and honored to inspire where I can, a quiet life, well-lived, is never wasted. The things I have learned that I am able to pass on are a great gift, even if it’s telling my son to pick his battles as a parent, encourage curiosity, but keep them safe, it’s a fine line but a fun one.
There are days I am just… frustrated by the incredibly slow wheels of justice, there are days and even weeks when I am too unwell to do much, but I enjoy the heck out of every moment. If I am stuck in bed I love seeing the sun through my bedroom curtains. I enjoy the taste of my water with lemon, a good cup of coffee, fresh fruits and vegetables.
I have learned it’s the people in my life that make it wonderful, and the enjoyment taken in life makes it rich, what I look like, and how much money I have, are the least important things about me. I can’t wait to see what the rest of my life has to offer, it just gets richer in enjoyment as time goes on. Love peace & hugs…
