It’s true that you cannot truly enjoy sunshine without a little rain. Earthly life was never meant to be perfect, if it was, there would be no striving for better, there would be no growth, there would be no ideal goals.

I have this theory, that if you are not where God wants you in life, you will be forced to move on, or move away, or change something. God does not put trials in our lives to hurt us, it is because he is nudging us toward where He wants us to be. I am not talking about one disaster, although that can certainly promote growth and change, I am talking about a series of things, so ridiculous, so awful, that you must move forward.

I have had people tell me for more than twenty years that I should write my life story, but I haven’t yet, I think I would have to divide it into sections, and no one would believe all that stuff happened to one person, let alone one person who is still relatively happy and well adjusted. I am just one of those people weird things happen to, good and bad. I know that it was my destiny to have more than my share of bad stuff, because I am a nurturer, and this has taught me compassion and empathy. I don’t think it makes me special, anymore than my eye color makes me special, it is just part of Steph as a whole.

The dark and cloudy hours of the soul are where we grow, where we discover the heights we can attain, and where we discover our place in the world, if only for now, as our place will frequently change. People will hurt us when things are dark, that is our destiny as well, we have to learn to forgive them and move on, realizing that the hurt was part of the nudge to move.

I was outside this gray and cloudy morning having my quiet time with God, when I realized that the person I have been praying to forgive and understand is forgiven. I still don’t understand, but the pain is gone. I am doing what I need to do to move on, and I cut that person from my life. That is something people don’t understand, how I cut out a person from my life after I forgive them, just because I have forgiven does not mean I want more of that behavior in my life, I learned my lesson from them and moved on.

Forgiveness is cleansing, it affirms that you have learned what you needed to learn. Removing people who hurt you from your life is also cleansing, it gives you back your power. I don’t mean someone who cancelled lunch for the 4th time or cut you off in traffic, I mean someone whose cruelty rocked your life, shook you out of your safe place and turned it upside down, huge difference.

So today, looking at the cloudy sky, I felt a sense of peace, that all is right with the world, and as I get closer to where I am supposed to be, things will turn right again and the sun will come out. I can feel it peeking through the clouds now. Gray days make you stronger, they make the world make sense, they promote the necessary changes in our lives, they give yin to our yang.

Treasure your gray and cloudy days, see the beauty in them, know that when the sun comes back out, it will be brighter and warmer than ever.

 


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