What to Do If I Can’t Focus During Lovemaking?

The physical act of love is usually a wonderful experience. When both partners are fully present, closeness can make a relationship stronger and induce a sense of well-being. Unfortunately, it can be difficult for some people to focus during lovemaking. You might “zone out,” or begin thinking about other things to the point where it seems like you aren’t really there. You might not be able to separate yourself from the events of the day. The problem with this is that you are not in the moment, and your partner might begin to feel like you don’t enjoy being with him or her.

What to Do If I Can't Focus During Lovemaking?

The official definition for zoning out, or dissociation, is a shift of attention from the task at hand. It’s a common occurrence, and all people zone out during day-to-day activities. Psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen explains most people spend up to 47% of the time zoning out. A recent study found that not living in the present moment can contribute to depression.

What Causes the Mind to Wander?

There are many reasons why you can not focus during lovemaking. One reason is that you might feel self-conscious about your body. If you feel like you don’t look good enough for your partner, you might dissociate yourself from the act so that you don’t have to acknowledge those feelings. Another reason might have to do with today’s modern pace.

It can be hard to focus on close moments if you are thinking about a myriad of tasks that you need to complete later on in the day or the next day. Stress can cause the mind to wander as well. If you are anxious about a problem in your life, then you might have a hard time concentrating on your partner. You might also be unsatisfied with your partner’s performance.

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