Should Your Kids Know You’ve Had an Affair?
Personal relationships are one of the most difficult aspects of life. There is no set of rules that can be applied to personal interactions since every situation is different, even if only slightly. Family units have to deal with some painful issues as they grow and develop, and one of those issues is infidelity. The divorce rate for first marriages in the United States has famously hovered around 50 percent for decades. Second and third marriages have even higher rates of divorce. When something that causes a rift between parents starts to manifest, one of the first questions is whether or not the children should be told that you had an affair.
One of the first things that a struggling couple needs to determine about their future is whether or not they are going to attempt to make the marriage work after they had an affair has been revealed. This will have a drastic affect on whether or not you should share the development with your children.
If you believe you and your spouse can move past the brief moment of infidelity, it is certainly not a good idea to involve your children. Younger children, and even those who have entered high school, typically have a positive vision of their parents that may be ruined by informing them of an affair, especially if that affair isn’t going to affect his or her day-to-day life.
Those couples who know they can’t move past the incident of unfaithfulness have an entirely different set of issues to be concerned with. Suppose a couple decides to seek divorce due to an affair, and that couple has two preteen children. The children would certainly be able to detect major problems with their parent’s relationship, and they may start to form their own ideas about what is going on. They may even flat out ask their parents if they’re going to get divorced if they sense an overwhelming amount of negativity.
Children today have access to more information than any previous generation thanks to the prevalence of the Internet. They can find out just about anything they want to know, including the realities of adult relationships and divorce. Because of this level of access, it is difficult to keep children from learning any specific thing. In other words, if they want to figure it out, they will.
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