10 Things to Never Say During Family Fights
It’s impossible for a relationship to exist without some disagreement. That doesn’t mean the relationship isn’t strong, or that it won’t last a lifetime. It simply means that you are normal and have to deal with relationship issues just like everyone else. There is no magic guide you can read to teach you how to argue, but there are some things to never say during family fights.
1. It’s all your fault.
This is a fairly selfish remark to make during family fights, as it shows a lack of accountability. Fault never or rarely lies with a single person in an argument, especially between spouses. Take responsibility for your own part in the disagreement instead of deflecting the blame away from yourself.
2. You are just like your father/mother.
Depending on the context, this phrase could be seen as a compliment, but during an argument it is almost always meant to be negative. Comparing your spouse to your in-laws is a good way to force a larger argument. Most people instantly defend their parents if such a statement is made, because it not only insults the spouse, but it insults their parents as well.
3. You are a *******.
There is absolutely no call for name-calling in the modern world, even during an argument. It doesn’t matter if it’s said in partial jest or out of earshot, it is still wrong. Name-calling solves nothing, and it only serves to cause emotional pain.
4. You’re upsetting the children.
First of all, if you’re arguing in front of your children, the fault lies with both parents, not just one. You should never argue in front of your children, if it is avoidable. You certainly should not use your children in an attempt to gain an advantage over your spouse.
5. You ALWAYS… or, You NEVER…
Generalities should be avoided in all aspects of life since they are apt to be wrong. It’s better to remove those words from your daily vocabulary, especially when it comes to describing the actions of people. Absolutes do not exist in human behavior, as much as we’d like to think they do. Using generalizations like ‘always’ and ‘never’ also shows a lack of faith in your spouse and their desire to grow.
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