6 Betrayals Besides Cheating That Ruin a Relationship
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When people are discussing things that went wrong in their past relationships, physical cheating is often viewed as the biggest form of betrayal. Since a relationship is often defined as an agreement to only be intimate with your partner, it makes sense that cheating is the action that is most likely to harm a relationship. It is often seen as rejecting your partner for another person. However, cheating is not the only way that your relationship may end. There are six other forms of falseness within a relationship that may result in distrust and discord between partners.
1. Trying to Change Your Partner
Trying to alter your partner and make them into a new person is almost as bad as cheating on them with a new person. No one appreciates constantly being told to change their appearance and personality, and it is particularly insulting when it comes from a partner. People feel betrayed when someone was willing to enter a relationship with them and then they are suddenly faced with many conditions for remaining in the relationship. Though a relationship may continue to stumble along after one partner starts trying to change the other, this typically breeds resentment that ultimately results in the relationship falling apart.
2. Always Insisting on Being Right
A relationship is not a competition, and always trying to be better than your partner is a way of harming their trust in you. No one wants to be in a relationship with a person that is regularly trying to one-up them and make them look wrong. Psychologists believe that arguing does not actually convince people of anything. Even if you are actually right, your partner is not going to agree with you when they are trying to defend themselves during an argument. Instead of focusing on being right, try to focus on communicating with your partner calmly.
3. The Idea of a Soulmate
One of the most toxic ideas in a relationship is that you can only have one soulmate. If you refer to a past partner who left your life due to tragedy as a soulmate, you leave your current partner feeling like they are not as important to you. Even if you think your current partner is your soulmate, you can face problems in your relationship. A 2014 study by the University of Toronto found that people are unhappy with their relationship if they have conflicts yet still consider each other to be their soulmates. This happens because people become very hurt when they think they cannot even have a harmonious relationship with their partner. Instead of putting a lot of pressure on your partner to be your soulmate, you should focus on growing and working together.
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4. Caring More About Being in a Relationship Than Having a Good One
In the modern age of social media, appearances are everything. This can end up harming your relationship if you are focused more on appearing like an ideal couple than actually connecting and building a good relationship. Focusing on the looks of your relationship at the expense of your partner’s needs or desires is just as bad as focusing on another relationship while you are still in your current one. This betrayal is not often apparent at first, but you may realize you are in one if a partner always insists on being given expensive gifts to show off or makes posts constantly about how perfect the relationship is while it is not actually going well.
5. No Longer Taking Care of Yourself
Your partner originally started a relationship with you because they were emotionally and physically attracted to you. Many people end up feeling hurt and tricked if their partner immediately discards the qualities they were so attracted to in the first place. Instead, it is important for both partners in a relationship to continue maintaining their physical health and emotional well-being. In order for a relationship to function properly, both partners must be fully functional people. Continuing to make an effort for your partner will make them feel loved and admired.
6. Neglecting Your Partner and Relationship
Emotional neglect can be so harmful that it is often categorized as a form of emotional abuse. It may include a lack of physical contact, no longer listening to a partner, not providing emotional support during difficult life events, and only caring about their own needs. When a partner is intentionally not fulfilling the needs of their partner, they are trying to hurt their partner and make their partner feel uncertain or unconfident of their love. This can lead to a cycle of neglect where partners are trying to both show that they cannot be hurt because they are not invested in the relationship. Often, emotional neglect can lead to a broken relationship or infidelity.
To have a happy, functional relationship, it is important to avoid betraying your partner in these six ways. If you notice that your partner is exhibiting any of this behavior, it is important to talk to them about it calmly before it becomes problematic.
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