Have You Found Mr. Perfect? Six Ways To Know
SPANISH TRANSLATION: ¿USTED HA ENCONTRADO EL HOMBRE PERFECTO?
There are no fairy tales in relationships, no knights in shining armor. Some men may seem like a dream – especially at first – but there will be red flags as you learn more about him. Take your pitter-pattering heart out of it and think practically. Ask yourself these questions to see if he really is right for you.
Is passion too important?
If you two are like rabbits, it could be that your relationship is (and may always be) shallow. He could want nothing but a fling. For that matter, maybe it’s a fling for you, too, and you just don’t know. Compatibility in the passion department is key to a healthy relationship, especially after the newness wears off.
Is he too demanding of your time?
Does he want to be with you every minute? Does he take your “me time”? Jealousy almost always causes problems in the long term. Don’t be fooled into thinking that kind of control is flattering. If he can’t let you be you, run! Run straight back to your friends.
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Is he too smart? Does he want to tell you allllll about it?
You might first be impressed with his stories and infinite knowledge, but if he takes it to an extreme, it’s a character fault. His boastful behavior may mean he feels the opposite – very unsure of himself. That’s another red flag. When he pretends to be something he’s not, it’s fraud. Don’t fall for it!
Is money an issue?
The most common arguments in relationships involve money. If you two are on totally different pages, beware! No matter how uncomfortable this discussion may be, talk about it. Being cheap is a red flag; it may mean his IRA is lacking. On the flip side, his generosity may be a red flag, too. Work it out the way that feels most comfortable to you.
Whoa, buddy! Why so fast?
Pushing you to make a commitment may mean he feels desperate. You have a few doubts; admit it. Everybody has doubts to some degree. If you’ve gathered too many red flags, examine that closely and try to think practically. Long-term relationships and marriages last longer if you wait at least six months before taking it to the next level. If you have a lot of fear, listen to it!
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What do your friends think?
Ask a friend for their honest opinion, no holding back and no flattery. Chances are they notice things before you do. Your friends are watching your back and will find many “problems” with Mr. Perfect that you don’t see. Also, listen to yourself, pretending you’re advising a friend as if they were dating him.
No matter what your age or your definition of Mr. Perfect, you are in control of the relationship. Don’t ignore red flags because you’re “in love.” Find out if he’s desperate or if he’s a social and emotional fraud. Maybe the whole thing just doesn’t fit. Be honest with yourself, and don’t be afraid to walk away if he doesn’t stack up.
Accept no less than Mr. Perfect.