Some Myths about Romantic Love
By: Andres Carvajal
Edited By: Stephanie Dawson
There are movies, webpages, clichés, and children’s stories that reproduce myths about romantic love, where idealization plays a major role in the way a child lives and experiences love. We are going to identify some of these myths so we can be aware if we are unconsciously reproducing these myths and stereotypes.
• Love is a feeling that will give sense, direction, and consistency to any relationship by itself. This view tends to identify love, being in love, or having a crush. Love is not magic, love needs dedication, fidelity, and sincere acts that show genuine interest and caring for the other. Love is more than being in love, love is compromise.
• You´ll need to find your other half to be happy. This is one of the most common myths, you begin to think you are one piece of a puzzle in another’s life. Its true that other people make us happy and can be a perfect complement to our life, but we are complete by ourselves, we are not incomplete if we are single. People that are by themselves are as precious, important, and meaningful as any other person.
• To love someone is to lose your freedom. Many think that being in a relationship is being chained to another. You may feel this if one partner comes from an oppressive and obsessive relationship. In a healthy relationship communication is key, speak out about what is within boundaries and what is not. A healthy balance between being ourselves with authenticity and the positive compromise of being with someone could be the key to success.
• Love is a spark. Many believe in love at first sight. Love is something you have to build on and grow, if you think you can be in love from the first meeting or first date you are maybe confounding things. Not all love starts like the movies with a series of unpredictable or fantastic events.
• People who are in love never fight. This is not true, often people think that having an argument or disappointing the other is absolute failure. Couples that don’t fight are suspicious in the sense that having arguments can be healthy for some relationships, absence of differences can be a sign of over-pleasing. All of us have bad days, we misinterpret information, or we might a have bias that doesn’t allow us to clearly see our relationship as it is. If you run after an argument or you cannot confront your partner in a sincere and assertive way, maybe you are not in the mood for love.