I am not at all a stupid person, in fact, I like to think of myself as rather smart, but on occasion I do some very stupid things, most of which involve men. I love men, everything about them, wide shoulders, hairy chests, deep voices, big hands, the way they smell… anyway, where was I? Oh yes, for a relatively smart girl I have made some bad choices in men, bad choices, like if stupidity was a crime I would be a lifer with no parole. If I walk into a room with 100 men the ones who hone in on me first are the most unstable, I will then pick the worst one of them to date, it’s a character flaw. The rest I will adopt as brothers and/or they will adopt me as a sister/confidante.
I am not desperate for a relationship, I am single by choice, in fact I have never dated more than in the last few years when my youngest turned 18, the problem is that I tend to believe men who show interest, who call when they say they will, who ask about my day, who say sweet things to me, etc. Invariably I end up with the cheaters, men who really hate women, control freaks, abusers, addicts, you name it. I see couples quite often that make me realize there really is someone for everybody, and it kind of makes me wonder, “Everybody except me? Really?” I try to avoid men who are widowers, recovering alcoholics, non-Christian (spiritual is OK) and that are unkind, which really narrows a girl’s options, it’s sad.
I am not ageist, I don’t care if he is younger or older than me, but my daughter made me promise years ago to stay out of her age range, she’s funny like that. Men my age do not seem to want a woman my age because A) they just left that kind and are looking for a new model B) they are just settling down and want a woman who can have babies with them or C) they were married for many years and they want to sow their wild oats and would prefer to be “Friends with Benefits” with many women. I just can’t do the casual thing, I tried, I brought a cute 29 year old guy home one night when I was 40 thinking my boys were staying at a friends, they were home, he left 6 weeks later and we still talk on a regular basis, I am even invited to his wedding, my boys still tease me about that.
So my son is awesome, and guessing from DILLY’s attitude and smiles he is a great husband… (DILLY is Daughter In Law Loves You, I am MILLY, we are too cute) my brother-in-law is awesome, I don’t quite see how I can RAISE a great man all by myself and yet not pick one out of a crowd, it makes no sense.
I don’t think I am hard to please, I like men who make me laugh, who are kind, who genuinely like me the way I am, and enjoy hanging out with me but secure enough to keep his own friends and let me keep mine… oh and no cheating, hitting, or lying, the only lie I allow is how beautiful and wonderful I am daily LOL! Is this an impossible dream or will I continue to climb into bed with a stack of books for the rest of my life? Either way is fine, I just can’t figure it out.
About the author:
MamaSteph has 2 kids by birth and several by love, she is a nurse and enjoys finding healthier ways to make comfort foods, gardening, enjoying nature, and living life to the fullest…For a list of her blogs please click here.